One Helluva Summer

Looking at the calendar, I am reminded there are less than two weeks of summer left.  As a teacher I always look forward to summer. It is the reward for a long, hard school year.  This summer has been different.  I had regarded it as a lot of empty stolen time chained to my spine surgery.  While others were relaxing and vacationing, I found myself thrust into all things connected to my spine-- the intense pain, the diagnosis to my health problem, the plan of action,  preparation to surgery, the surgery experience itself, the recovery period, and grieving the loss of long-distance running.

It wasn't until recently, I had to honestly say to myself that stuck in between the pages of the book of the spine surgery summer, are a lot of reminders that it wasn't all about my aching back.  There was the ACOE graduation in which I once again presented a deserving student with the Steven L. Butler Memorial Scholarship. The wedding of my youngest niece, Melissa and her beloved Steve was beautiful--a traditonal Catholic wedding in Sonoma, California complete with a priest from Scotland and a gorgeous reception at the groom's parents' home, flanked by beautiful vineyards. I was also reminded of the gift of family and friendship with visits in the hospital and at home, help with meals, and help with household chores.  The opportunity to attend Camp Widow once again in San Diego provided me with a much needed change of scenery, inspiration, and the chance to meet new widows/ers and cultivate the friendships that were established a year ago.  New friendships outside my widow circle were also forged.  Being tied to home for most of the summer also gave me the chance to have more home improvements made.  I was able to oversee the installation of new windows, an irrigation system, tree work, a new deck railing to replace the year-old one damaged by my oak tree, and the redecorating of my family room.  My parents celebrated their 61st wedding anniversary.  I was able to attend a dinner concert with Asleep at the Wheel at Rancho Nicasio and a couple of day trips with friends to the wine country.  I caught up on reading and started new hobbies like bread baking and jewelry making.

With over three years of widowhood behind me, this summer provided some unexpected "firsts" for me that were frightening.  One in particular was experiencing a major health issue without a life partner.  Even though I had a great deal of support from family and friends, there remained that feeling of aloneness, vulnerability, and isolation without a soulmate to confide those thoughts and fears.  Now I can look back at those "firsts" and feel proud of my courage and grace during those challenging "firsts."  They were not easy, but I got through them unscathed.  I know there will be more "firsts" ahead of me and I am reminded of what my late husband always used to tell me when I was faced with challenging times, "You're tough......Go get 'em champ!"  The good times and the strength I have gained from the not-so-good times have made this one helluva summer.  And while my spine surgery is foremost in my thoughts, this summer was thankfully full with the stuff that makes for good memories and healthy self-discovery.